Motivation or lack thereof

Motivation can be an amazing thing. It gets you pumped, it gets you ready, it gets you willing.  If not given proper fuel to burn, it also leaves you hanging.  These last few weeks my motivational fires have burnt out, leaving me a charred shell of unwillingness to work for three weeks. Why? I don't quite know. Maybe I have too many irons in my pot of goals, or maybe I'm just lazy and don't follow through. I have been going through a lot this year and I am in charge of a business that makes me want to pull my hair out, but I don't feel like I have the right to use any of those for excuses. What I secretly think the culprit is, when it comes to my writing, is fear. Fear that I'm not a good enough writer, fear that there are too many steps to take to the end, fear that my stories are cliche, fear that they are boring. Lately, when working on my WIP's, I either come down with headaches from second guessing myself or become super duper sleepy (from boredom?). So I took a two week break. I'm not the type to force something until it breaks and yes, perhaps my fear controls and sucked the life from my motivation. This week though, I'm back on it's willing, ready, and pumped horse. This week, I'm back in the saddle and ready to do some real editing work so I can at least try to get my work out by the end of the month (if I'm lucky). Motivation comes and goes, this I understand and accept. It's up to me to keep it burning.