So, today I wanted to share a snippet of my debut novel The Abandoned One with you soo you could better have an idea of my writing. Let me know what you think. Since I'm in the current rework stage, now's the best time for any feedback. FYI, this scene is in a haunted house setting during October. Thanks!
On hands and knees, I crawled through a foggy hearse, Maddie's form ahead was almost impossible to see as I rounded a realistic looking casket. I had to hand it to the place, though the front was cheesy, the actual attractions themselves were pretty good. The Gatehouse had stepped up their game. I don't recall a time I had screamed or laughed as much. Feeling a hand on my leg, I looked back into the face of a ghoul and screamed as its eyeball hung from its socket.
“You sick fucker!” I cried out, when it began to snicker, obviously having enjoyed the sneak attack it gave me.The eyeball shook with the force of it's laughter and I had to join in. “You’re good.” I told him, wagging a finger at him, before hurrying to catch up with my friends. It's grey face tracked my moments as I backed away towards the back of the hearse and the exit. I had to admit, even with all the terror I was having a pretty good time. There wasn't much room for talking within the group and with Brent up front, I hadn't had to put up with too much assholery. So great was my haste to catch up, I actually fell out of the vehicle and onto a sand ground. Glancing around me, I was surprised to find myself outside the building in a cemetery maze. Though I could hear screaming and laughter still ahead of me, I couldn't see anybody. Had my friends left me? Hurrying forward, I made a few turns and still no sign of my friends or anybody else. What the hell?
A bit peeved that they hadn't even thought to keep the group together, I continued through with quick strides. All fun and games were over, because I was not about to be abandoned here of all places. Quickly I turned a corner and ended up in yet another aspect of The Gatehouse, a dark room with just a couch and a television facing away from me. At first, I thought this area was also empty of life until I noticed the body of a man sitting on the couch. He was so still, I wondered if he was mannequin perhaps. With the room's dim lighting, the only detail I could take in was that he had dark hair that curled slight around his nape.
Shifting, I looked around for a exit to the next part of this place. The sound of movement had the stranger whip his dark head around, leaving me blinking in astonishment. All evening I had been jumped at and surprised by people dressed up to be monstrous and scary and perhaps thats why seeing the stranger was such a shock. He certainly wasn't scary. That wasn't my problem. The man was gorgeous. Simply, out right one of the yummiest men to have ever been in my presence. I had to mentally slap myself. Down Girl.
One thing was certain; he was out of place in the haunted house of creeps and ghouls. He didn't belong here and he was still staring at me. Fixated solely on me, I could see that his eyes were the color of mercury. So liquidly, they seemed to form depths no one could possibly fathom. Framing those beautiful mirror like eyes were two perfectly black angled brows, which were currently hiked up high into his forehead as if surprised. His chin was strong, showing he was a dominating type of man but his cupid bow lips saved him from looking cruel. He was a very drool worthy specimen. I swiped a hand over my face just in case I was acting like toddler.
Seconds later, his lips moved, “Alexandria.” His voice had been soft, and strangely familiar. Chills raced up my spine and down to my arms in response. My blood ran cold as my senses came back to me in force. My mind screamed stranger, danger.
I am not ashamed to admit that I ran. I ran from the stranger who knew my name and shouldn't.
